Happy Fourth of July, Americans!  I admire your ancestors’ fighting quest for independence.  I too enjoy independence – no narrow-minded outside law is allowed within my castle walls.  I enjoy my hard-won freedom to inflict bloody vengeance, just as you enjoy your freedom to have your baseball, your apple pie, and your various bottle rockets and ground bloom flowers.

I know many of you will celebrate by grilling today.  I too will do some grilling.  Probably a blonde.  Possibly my gardener, who I’m so upset with right now I just can’t tell you.  Suffice to say, it involves the miniature rose bushes out back and someone’s ideas of eco-friendly fertilizer. 

So have a wonderful 4th, enjoy the fireworks, and don’t flay any flesh I wouldn’t flay!

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