Category: Posters We Don’t Own

Friday Poster Freakout!

The Ghost Breakers (Marshall, 1940)

Dentist In The Chair (Chaffey, 1960)

Old Shatterhand (Fregonese, 1964)

Does anyone know if there’s a name for these German westerns? What is it instead of Spaghetti Western? Schnitzel Western?

Night Runner (Biberman, 1957)

Lancelot Du Lac (Bresson, 1974)

This Is My Alaska (???, 1969)

Gandhi (Attenborough, 1982)

Supernatural (Halperin, 1933)

The Long Wait (Saville, 1954)

Bolero (Ruggles, 1934)

Posters We Don’t Own #9


Chuck Norris’ patriotism goes Missing In Action. Wring the tears out of your dress, Chuck.

People I Wasn’t Expecting To See #2;Posters We Don’t Own #8

The strange, blessedly short movie stardom of Joe Willie Namath:




Dear Mickey Rourke…

…I’m sorry you didn’t win a Best Actor Oscar. But y’know what? Neither did Vern Gagne. So you’re in good company.


Posters We Don’t Own #7

Change We Could Not Believe In, In 1972

The Man (Sargent, 1972)


Posters We Don’t Own #6

New rule: All films beginning with the word “Beyond” will be required to design a conforming poster. Conformance shall be defined as a closeup of a woman whose face is partially concealed, preferably by branches or leaves. Windswept hair or other means that effectively mimic foliage obscurance are acceptable. The face shall comprise approximately 75% of the vertical space of the poster, with the bottom 25% devoted to landscape, which said face will appear to loom above. A small figure is required in the lower corner of the image (left/right option). Said figure may be a person, building, or representational flag/symbol.

Older films, such as Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, and Mad Max III: Beyond Thunderdome are grandfathered and need not comply, however any remakes produced of these films will be expected to conform.

That is all.


Posters We Don’t Own #5

“Waitaminit, this movie has The Goofers in it? And Lord Flea? Based on this information, if you do not charge me at least double for this ticket, I shall surely strike you.”

Posters We Don’t Own #4


Terror From The Year 5000 (Gurney)

Posters We Don’t Own #3

The Phantom, 1963 (Wincer)

The Phantom, 1963 (Wincer)

The Phantom slams.  He doesn’t smash.  The Hulk smashes.  Smashing is more violent.  Slamming might just mean saying something derogatory about someone in the media, like panning their new album.  Luckily, he only does this to evil people.  So you’re unlikely to see the headline “Phantom Slams New Amy Winehouse Album”.  But you could see “Phantom Slams New Montgomery Burns Album.” 

Phantom slams, Hulk smashes.  I’m forever getting these mixed up.  The Shadow, by the way, neither slams nor smashes.  He only has the power to cloud men’s minds, like a trayful of Cuba Libres or Charlie Rose.

While we’re looking at this – I know the Phantom’s outfit is meant to be purple, but doesn’t it vibe a little pink here?  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m not sure one is worse than the other.  I’m just sayin’.  Pinkish.

Posters We Don’t Own #2

Super Man Chu, 1973 (Huong)

Super Man Chu, 1973 (Huong)

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